Beer and loathing at the Preakness Stakes
On the canvas recliner, fall like a brick.
The chair was buckled under her.
A nearby man wearing a white T-shirt took an American flag and patted his friend in the words \"back-to-back World War Champion\", pointing to the girl\'s face on the grass and saying, \"Sweet!
\"I was sitting in the office two days ago, clean and sober, with complete dignity, when a friend of mine emailed me saying we should go to Preakness on Saturday.
I told him it was late to decide Thursday to go to Baltimore on Friday night, and I basically promised someone that I would go to New Jersey for a graduation party on Saturday.
He replied: \"It sounds very lame . \"
\"What I should remind you is that there will be more than 125 drunk people in the inner field.
Denim shorts with boots of at least 50 k
2 bucks for beer
\"I am a super sports fan, loyal to the Boston team, and I have played countless MLB, NFL and NBA games.
I played in an NHL game or two, even an MLS game.
But I have never participated in any kind of horse racing.
I bet most modern sports fans don\'t.
I know very little about Preakness: What is it (horse), what is part of it (Triple Crown), it is in Baltimore and I have not been to a city until September 2011, at that time, I went to Under estory with CEO Kevin prankke.
At that time, I also visited 530-
One acre of land that Plank bought in 2007 (looks like something in Downton manor ).
Plank is trying to get the horse racing back to its original position, and in 2010 one of his horses won the Breeder\'s Cup in Churchill Downs.
Visiting harbor Armour\'s corporate headquarters in the port and Plank\'s farm is the extent to which I have lived in Baltimore so far.
I decided to go.
When my friend M.
Our second friend, S.
I tried to get a bus out of Manhattan on Friday night. M.
I swear we can show up in front of the car and buy tickets, but he was 6 minutes late because we were trying to take the simnicks bus at 7: 30 from Midtown; it pulled away.
We lined up across the street and took an Eastern Bus at 8: 30 behind a dozen people --
The idea that they all lined up for the bus an hour earlier made me angry --
One of us grabbed the slices and poured the beer into the regular soda cup as a snack.
We did get on the bus ($23 per vehicle) but hardly; despite M.
Lazy claims that no one buys tickets in advance, and most people in line buy tickets in advance.
Once they all got on the bus, there were only four seats left, one by the window, next to a guy holding a crying baby --
It\'s bad news for the unlucky man behind us.
\"It will be a weekend,\" S. predicted.
When I was browsing Twitter on my phone, I found the story of aBuzzFeed: \"This is a tribute to Preakness, once the most drunk place in sports.
There are pictures of drunk children falling down in the \"story\", drunk children rushing over the roof of the port --a-
Fight with drunk kids.
It\'s over: \"Thank you memory, Preakness Infield.
You left, but did not forget. ” I asked M. about it.
\"Yes, like five years ago, they banned drinking beer outside. Old news.
I think it\'s more gentle now. ”We slept at M.
At my parents\' home in Columbia, Maryland, it\'s about 25 minutes from Baltimore.
In the morning, we discussed what to wear --
Shorts, jeans and tops, polo, buttonsdown, or t-
\"It\'s okay,\" said M.
\"You will look more normal than anyone else anyway.
There are so many children in suits that look like Jack. You’ll see.
\"I chose shorts (nantuket red, at least a little taste of assholery) and polo with boat shoes. S.
It\'s the same, but M.
Wearing shorts and Crow t-Flip shirtflops.
\"I made a huge mistake,\" he said later . \".
We drove to Poly.
Westend, a school outside Baltimore, is parked on a city bus.
On the bus, the tone of the day finally gave me a complete sigh of relief.
When we wait to pull it out of Poly, a fantasy
It looks like grandma, about 25, and her arrogant granddaughter boarded the plane and sat down until the granddaughter checked for dirt on the seat.
The girl was wearing tight flowers.
A patterned dress and velvet heels.
Both of them wore ridiculous soft hats.
They laughed at us in a stiff manner.
They did not laugh or respond.
The driver got on the bus and said to eight of us on a quiet bus: \"OK, we\'ll take you to see some horses running around.
Hey, which horse will win today ? \" A black old man in fedora later shouted, \"the winner will be the first to cross the finish line! ” Yuk yuk.
I muttered: \"At the end of today, the winner will be those of us who are still alive.
\"After 10 minutes the bus stopped on the side of the highway and the driver announced that a train was coming in and we were going to take people on the bus. The fun began.
The crowd flocked to the bus, and almost everyone was young and drunk, and each dress style represented: the man in a cashmere shirt and skinny jeans, fashionable man in a suit and girlfriend in a muscle shirt and cargo shorts-to-toe J. Crew.
I gave up my seat to an old couple and ended up standing next to a man in a bow tie and tweed suit.
I pointed to a sweat stream sweaty\'s back.
Handsome guy in LeBron James Heat jersey and gold chain, trying to talk and saying to the bowler\'s kid, \"Really, Lebron jersey, to this\" Oh, you will see all kinds of white trash today, \"he said quite loudly.
He\'s a lobbyists in Washington. C.
He went to Tucson.
His girlfriend is dancing in Polka.
Dot dress is a lobbyists in Washington. C.
He went to Tucson.
He asked, \"sit inside . \"
\"You won\'t see a game.
You may not actually see a horse.
But it\'s just fun to get drunk and loud.
We come every year because it\'s sweet to dress up like a jerk and lose some money!
\"We got off at Pimlico near the clubhouse entrance, where there was also a valet.
The first person I saw was Kevin Plank, who shook hands and greeted everyone.
His little boy looks cute in a suit.
I said hello from a long distance, and he shouted, \"Nice to meet you\" (whether or not he actually recognized me from our room --
I didn\'t know about the interview two years ago.
A group of eight fratty brothers stood at the door, and most of them, wearing Orioles hats, were crushing a can of beer.
Someone noticed the board and shouted excitedly, \"under the armor!
\"We had to walk all the way to the gate to meet the kids who sold our tickets.
When we went in, we went through a tunnel and when we came out of it, the first impression I got was a monster truck rally.
Large open space;
Tents and food stalls.
It looks more like a leg of Lollapalooza than a treble.
It was noon today, it was hot outside, we were all soberly awake and some of the kids had urinated behind the truck.
Not prepared for the three of us will be the subject of the day --
We didn\'t bring cash, jacket or cell phone.
The cash issue is the first priority;
We want beer, but we need cash first.
We found the ATM area, a long and open toilet.
There may be 80 people queuing up for two separate ATMs.
We stood on that line for nearly 40 minutes.
A big man who looks like Manti T\'eo is jumping in front of us; when S.
A few minutes later, the guy said loudly, \"Is there any problem ? \" When a group of girls in the \"spring break\" Trio appeared and turned around near the front, Mandy shouted, \"Yo, don\'t let those bitch jump in!
A girl in a pure white dress and a camping outfit stood alone near the line.
She looks like the most normal woman we \'ve ever seen;
There are some girls who are basically wearing rags, girls in shorts cover only half of their ass, etc.
But she looks cute and elegant.
The only weird thing is: her collarbone and neck are full of charcoal stains --
Looks like a fingerprint.
I turned around and shot S.
To point out, but as we all turn back, the same girl suddenly dates a man with a huge straw cowboy hat. OK.
When we got the cash, we went to the nearest restaurant and found that the credit card would eventually be accepted. Beers were $4 —
Nice from New York.
We got three Stellas and went to visit Macklemore.
The crowd is a flat ocean.
One girl after another floating on the top, holding the man\'s shoulder.
The girl who fell from the chair immediately returned to the chair.
It seems that the lesson is not easy to learn in this case.
Cigar smoke is disgusting and even heavier than weed smoke (a bit surprising;
Personally, in the heat of the day, in a loud crowd, the last thing I want is to smoke a thick cigar ).
A man in overalls tries to roll a joint on the plate where his hot dog is located.
Macklemore finished the \"Thrift Store\" and took the microphone to make the disease
He shouted, \". . . Is this a holiday? I don\'t know, I mean, there\'s horses and shit!
But yo, yo, we want to make the Preakness festival the loudest festival . . . . . . \"I will stop there.
I think Preakness may not be the ideal place for this person.
The next scene is a bulldog. we skipped it.
We went back to the beer house for three shots of tequila.
The tall bartender I put on 6\'5\' (her height, blonde curls, made me think of horrible spices) basically fell off her head;
All the beer hut girls look like owl waitresses.
Before I could handle what happened, she raised the first shot to my face. “Come ON!
She shouted angrily. Oh.
I opened my mouth and she threw it in.
When she did the same thing for M.
She spilled most of it on his t-shirt.
His intensified gaze made her shoot two more shots. We drank them.
To be sure, things are getting sloppy.
The rest of the time our photos show beer overflowing from front of our lightscolored shirts;
We look like toddlers who spit out all of their cypress.
Horse seen so far: zero.
People in pairs: close to doubledigits.
Girls with no tops on the bra: four.
Vomiting people: two.
Into pairs of people
I dare not mention this.
When leaning against one of the portsa-Potties: one. Oh, the Port-a-Potties.
This is their own horror.
The day starts at 10. m. ;
We arrived at noon. by 3 p. m.
, A corner of that special \"bathroom\" that I entered was flooded with liquid (the floors of these things are rarely horizontal), the toilet was filled with water, there was a maglimo t
A shirt floating on the surface.
I pee in a corner so as not to raise the water level and then leave there and as I walk away I drag my shoes along the grass to dry my shoes.
We continue to move to the betting area. M.
Pick up the newspaper, he and S.
Trying to figure out the odds.
I don\'t want to lose my money.
All I know is that a horse named Orb is too heavy. his chances are once 1-1.
They talked about winning three in a row and I noticed a horse called Bull bow.
A girl I met in high school lives on Cow bow Road.
It would be nice if I bet on him.
) In the betting area we met a lovely redhead teenager from taosen.
The man who was with her, wearing a rib lime green mortar machine and a golden cross, kept touching her breasts from behind, making them giggling and heading towards US
She kept talking to us as if everything his hand had done was just a breeze.
She told us as he walked away for a beer, \"That\'s my gay friend Marco.
He wants to be an actor.
It began to rain. It didn’t pour;
It is closer to the mist.
However, it picked it up and turned into a heavy rain, scraping sideways and squeezing under the tent did nothing.
The weather is very cold.
People camp in the open-air compartment of Pepsi trucks.
Others simply sat on the grass and held the picnic blanket over their heads.
People entering the port. a-
Eat and fish there. bowling them.
After about an hour and a half, the rain stopped, although many people left during this period. We drank more. We snacked.
Eight years ago, I met a girl at MIT high school that I had never seen since high school.
We took pictures of a group of nine girls, and if they were on the side, their Soffee shorts would say their fraternity slogan --by-
Their Ass is in a row.
We met someone I used to know only through Twitter.
Through the fence, we vaguely caught a glimpse of the last game that Oxbow won.
When it was over, the whole crowd began to move to the exit.
As a giant amoeba
Just like the body, we all walked out of the gate to the bus.
People shouted a lot of things to call them;
They finished drinking the last beer cans and left them on the sidewalk.
The crowd shook from Pimlico to West Rogers Avenue.
People stop constantly from the sidewalk to buy strong tickets;
Jackpot over $0. 5 billion, hey, why can\'t the winner be a lucky fan, they just left Ms Preakness on their porch, the price of selling their fried chicken and hot dogs on the grill.
At the corner of West Rogers Avenue and Highgate Avenue, we stopped at a homemade hotel.
We are greedy.
I bought four big wings for $3.
This is the best fried chicken I have ever had.
She got the BBQ sauce I pushed up in my belly and I tried to wipe it off with cheap napkins that ripped from my facial hair into pieces.
The three of us sat on the woman\'s porch and watched a wave of people walk past us as they fork out the last bite of rice from our paper tray.
When she asked me if I wanted an ice beer as well, I said, \"for God\'s sake, no.