re-imagining chinese new year for my children
Jasper\'s hand held onto my mom\'s waist, and Everett snuggled together, burying her face half in the folds of her jacket.
\"See you in February? ” my mom asked. “Yes!
Because Valentine\'s Day is on February, I will make Valentine\'s Day cards for you, right?
Jasper responded by sharing his excitement at the pre-school. “Yes.
The same is true of Chinese new year. ”“It is?
What do we do in Chinese new year?
My heart sank and I felt my mother was disappointed with me.
When my mom described some of the traditions of the Chinese New Year to my children, I leaned against the elevator to listen.
Red envelopes, firecrackers, dragon dances.
Oranges and apples for luck and prosperity.
Remove the dust and remnants of the old year and make room for the good luck of the new year.
I was the first American.
My parents immigrated from Hong Kong to university in the United States. S.
Seek a better life for yourself, your family and your future children.
They eventually settled down in Connecticut and lived in a house they built from scratch, a log --
The backyard has an oval pool, which is more modern than our colonial neighbors in Connecticut.
Inside, our home is filled with the sound of Chinese language and the taste of braised pork and barbecue.
We celebrate Chinese festivals in many ways.
Hold a course feast with the big family members, and finally have a noisy mahjong for adults upstairs and ping
The children in the basement play table tennis and video games.
When I was a child, I lived two very different lives.
There is a school.
There is a clear line between one world and another.
I became an expert who crossed the line between them so they wouldn\'t bleed from each other.
At school, it\'s easy for me to get rid of Chinese
Ness at the door
On the surface, we are all the same.
My classmates and I wore the same plaid uniform short skirt, navy blue polo shirt, collar pop-up, side swept bangs and French braids.
Everyone plays hockey and hockey.
Everyone took part in the same L. L.
Bean backpack, read the same book.
Even though I know that I am Chinese, part of me does not realize that I am not like my friend, I am a minority among most of my white friends.
When you don\'t see other students of color roaming the corridor, you don\'t really understand that you might make a difference because you don\'t see the difference around you.
It is easier to stay in the similarities and integrate them, rather than to say the stark contrast between us.
As the years go by, my instinct remains the same
In order to find a comfortable corner in the corner, curl up and blend into it like a chameleon.
In high school and college, as children of Asian society, I hate to mix up with other Chinese, Japanese and Korean students, and I don\'t want to join the Asian fraternity either.
Most importantly, I want to remove the weight of my legacy from my shoulders and be myself, someone other than my skin and the culture I carry with me.
My parents told me that if I work hard, I can achieve anything I dream of no matter what my race history is.
After all, their coming to this country is purely based on effort, value and determination to seek new opportunities and potential achievements.
Being Chinese seems to have nothing to do with the success they have achieved in their career and life.
However, once I have formed my own family, I can feel the heavy responsibility again.
This time, instead of setting aside my background, I connect me with the past and the future, and it is my responsibility to help my children know and understand where they come from.
Here, however, I watch my two sons become more and more far away from Chinese culture because I don\'t know how to share with them.
My Cantonese opponent is 3-year-
I can\'t replicate the rich tradition of coloring my childhood home.
In the process of growing up, I didn\'t realize my cultural baggage-Chinese --
I was easily left behind-an integral part of my identity.
I can\'t separate it like different parts of the braid, nor can I separate it like a separate line that makes up a written Chinese character.
Now, as a parent, it\'s hard for me to celebrate those aspects of my long-packaged legacy.
I am worried about what I can pass on to my children and what they can pass on to their children.
\"Mom, after the winter vacation, we are going to start the program in China!
\"On our way to school, my current third-year student pinched my hand a little tighter.
I can feel his courage to move on.
I can feel prepared for the questions I know he will ask next.
\"My teacher has planned a lot of activities and trips.
Maybe you can come in and do an activity about China?
Or come to our Chinatown to celebrate the Chinese New Year?
\"I was angry when I heard his question and still felt uncomfortable with how I could help him learn Chinese.
But maybe when he starts his part about China, I can get to know the country where his grandparents were born with him.
Maybe we can teach each other what makes us.
\"I would love to celebrate the Chinese New Year with your class.
Christine Yu, a freelance writer, lives in New York with her husband and two sons.
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