the 10 most unintentionally hilarious toys exported by china
Near my mission area in San Francisco, the business is always a maze of rubbish.
You can see them every 10 feet-
Small shops offer unlikely combinations of \"gifts\", \"fashion\", \"fish\" and \"trade. \" Sun-
Bleached oda luggage spilled from them onto the sidewalk, inside a narrow corridor filled with one --size-fits-
All the wedding dresses, the bra of the woman who never intended to take off her shirt, and the \"San Francisco in my heart\" snowball when it was called pangua.
There are no products in the store that are 6 inch higher than underwear or dusty neon Jesus clock, but if you have finished all the photos and you are thin enough to browse them and visit one, go to the toy area.
If you\'re looking for joy and magic in the market, their toys are on the shelves now: the 10 am vsing truck has a lot of elegant features that kids love the most.
Let\'s take a look at each of them.
When I admire their efforts to deceive babies, why would babies wonder why elephants drive buses?
Yes, it\'s weird for you and me, but it\'s probably the most common thing a baby sees in a day.
Babies don\'t know why the AMVSING truck can only be explained by the devil.
Or they do that, that\'s why they scream.
Wait a minute.
You\'re telling me that watching a Crazy Elephant hit something is actually the way Chinese teach their kids to drive! ?
Because I was in the parking lot last week and when I was yelling at them they told me I was racist.
If I am skeptical about the child psychology research done by copywriters in sweatshops, please forgive me, but I don\'t think there\'s a connection between a musical talent and an elephant monster playing a \"camping match\" with a car horn.
If this sentence is \"a wonderful concert will make the baby work harder and the meat will be tender\", then you are an expert. [again]
I think I\'m starting to understand.
If you shine your baby\'s face with a flashlight for 20 minutes a day, by the age of 4, it will be a certified technician!
But wait, if it turns into a genius to have a baby close to beeps and lights, then why are there so many stupid babies?
How did the last generation of under-stimulated idiot babies grow up and invent brilliant things like AMVSING trucks? Time travel?
It\'s time to travel, isn\'t it? [again]
I don\'t know why they added this bullet point for the second time in the second set of bullet points.
I think they really want to figure out how much that will inspire your child.
Prepare the hose.
From a linguistic point of view, this line is not the most violent attack on our language.
In fact, after putting in some batteries and watching the AMVSING truck sit in one place and the plastic seizure that makes the noise, I would say, \"the head of the motorcycle swings when the hand shakes!
Is the most elegant way to describe it.
The reason I like this line is because it tells us that at least one person knows that this damn thing is not a truck.
Suddenly call it a motorcycle, like a broken British wink from the smartest people in the ideal paradise of friends!
Toy Factory & organ supply. 9BEAT-
The real herobite
The real hero is a huge roller skating robot with an accessory-a 7-inch shield.
The strange thing, though, is that there are five choking hazard warnings on the box. Who could . . .
Wait, have China read about our obesity rate and decided that our children have snakes to make faces?
Look, parents, if someone or something in your family can swallow any part of the beat --
Real hero, focus your attention--
This is almost certainly the cause of death for your child in the future.
There are seven unique moves for this stylish color robot, and I know you \'d love to hear them, but first I want you to cheer up.
They are a little strange.
I think the \"truth the eyes have seen before\" is loosely translated into \"the kind of hand I know is pulling.
\"8 bibiyin baby World, a demon-like face is a polite way to let everyone know that you have been replaced.
Look at this monster: this doll is designed as a dream home for the killer ghost.
BiBi looks like something screaming out of the bin of the used rape kit.
I think that when the scarabs inside begin the mating ceremony, the body of Bibi will also tremble.
The Super Power police store that sells this toy makes no sense.
Although I have stayed in one many times, I have never seen a second customer.
The restaurant next to them changes the boss every six months and I refuse to believe that those who decide to buy XXXL beige underpants exclusively have some secret genius business plans.
Are they drug dealers?
That explains why every doll\'s box looks like a teenage sex slave sleeping in it for a couple of weeks and tearing it out of the box, but let me tell you one
When I looked at the Super Power police, the owner said on her mobile phone: \"idiots buy dees stuff.
\"I am not making up for the purpose of this article.
She said, right in front of me, as if she didn\'t notice her only customer, the 6\'3 \"man, laughing when he took a picture of his underwear.
I was determined to prove her wrong, so I lifted the toy up and said, \"Please give me a super cop.
\"Then I nodded, strangely, the woman who came up with the idea of opening the indoor dump on Mission Street 73 did not know that everything I said was great.
She took me $8.
Driverless plastic car 99
Just like the shape, slowly inch forward until it touches something. Oh, damn it.
Now I think this condescending attitude may be right. Hell yes it is.
6 bath baby box warns me that the specifications of my bath baby \"may change without notice \".
\"It made me wonder what incredible toys China kept before changing toys.
What would they say? \"AIEEEEE! ! ! MY FLESH!
Consumer, please note that my baby meat is forming a huge SLOR! ! !
\"I think this warning is misprinted because China is wrong or every syllable they print on a toy is lying.
So I opened the box and was expecting a blonde plastic baby to be swallowed up by the Dongguan wig mites section, but to see the last thing a new white father had prepared: Sorry, black baby.
I have given you the name of Dongguan wig before I find you bald.
Now I\'m going to put you in something that costs 12 cents to make, mix tap water, and electricity, just include this note: 5 Crary ChickenWhat I, a wizard?
How can I come up with a joke about your choking toy chicken?
In addition to the word \"ghosting\" and a period of random placement, the box of crary chicken seems to have been written by a person who speaks this language very well.
Now, I\'m not saying that Chinese exporters are doing some kind of well-planned prank, but one thing suspicious is that they only speak fluent English when writing phrases that accidentally mean masturbation
I guess their 80% last name also means \"penis\" here, which is not a coincidence.
At Cracked, we have done our best to stop the day from coming, but crary chicken confirmed this: China has officially won the Dick joke contest.
JAZZMANI is worried that these toy reviews are not culturally tolerant, so I think I will buy a toy that is not quite the opposite and you will not cheat me, China.
I know enough about jazz to know that Caucasian people are not allowed to say \"squate \".
\"The most disturbing thing about these toys is that they are not cheap.
The doll is $14.
It looks like it was shipped here via fistfight.
This is about $5 more than the money you spent on a doll next door Walgreens with no dents, correct spelling.
I do not want to hear if the madman who made this has reason to make the train conductor baby need scissors, ear mirrors and syringes.
This doll can howl with open mouth, \"I\'m here to draw blood for your child!
\"You\'re not surprised at all.
It\'s bad, but it\'s okay.
2 wild animals?
This is the cutest farm animal I have ever seen!
I hope this toy maker can get a raise, but now I think of it, what is the raise for a sweatshop worker?
Send your hair to your family when you die?
This Engrish comes from one of the wildlife select competitors-
A series of toys known only as \"animals.
\"Animal promises\" a lot of styles, \"only every bag is the same: Orange elk and orange Lige.
It also mentions how most elk and Lion Tigers own the new catenas, which seems to be more of a warning than a feature.
Flashing into, of course.
This sentence is very common in Chinese toys and I\'m almost sure it means, \"Oh God, the factory laser robot is comi--!
\"You know, this happy little master sewing machine and steam pressure play device may have been made by a child with a happy little master.
I bet they keep thinking, \"who will sit next to these machines for fun?
\"Or, if doubt is allowed during working hours, at least they will. Oh, man.
This is not a toy to wake up and entertain.
This is a trick, you \'d better hope that the child who received this best gift speaks English as bad as the happy little owner who wrote a copy on it.
The box says it is designed to form a habit of diligence.
Are you worried that your child will bleed too much at the age of 20?
A year\'s life as a factory employee in China?
Exercise them early with the happy little master!
I doubt this toy really promotes sewing enthusiasm because it also claims to develop intelligence, confidence and \"acting ability\", but think about the desperation of the sweatshop workers to put this toy together.
It\'s like having someone dig their own grave and then sit in it while they write it --
Digging guides for the next generation at gunpoint.
Happy little master is a criminal organization. do you need more evidence?
Its mantra is \"Come on, collect new samples!
That\'s not interesting.
What other than the American word of death? N.
The Happy Little Master was strangled?
They are building a slave army and laughing at us as they do! .