why can\'t anyone tell i\'m wearing this business suit ironically?
Is Edge fashion?
On 1986, I was the first to wear Mr nearby. Bubble iron-on T-
Shirts in their 70 s.
I\'m only 10 years old, but I\'m soaring above people\'s heads.
When I was in high school, I was the only one wearing Adam and ant war paint for the high school prom --
Even though it was in the early 90 s.
Those fools look at me like I\'m 10 or 12 years behind!
Truck driver in college
The hat concept is my main line.
Everyone was doing it in a few years, but by that time I was gone.
Okay now I\'m 25 and I\'m still going to leave you idiots in mysterious languagein-
Fashion dust cheeks.
About five years ago, I was on the whole neo-
I had 80 seconds of electrical conflict a few years ago.
I think, why not go all out and bring the concept of ironic fashion to the extreme?
Just doing something so risky and complete will surprise people.
So I came up with a suit.
Like, just create the shortest possible look and run with it.
I am also very firm about this.
A smaller person may have just bought a cheap suit at Goodwill, but I went all out and chose a conservative gray three
Button set, installed by the best tailor in town.
I even cut my hair short, no.
The description style is divided to one side.
I mean, who did this?
I look like a senator.
Wearing my new suit and just coming out of the tailor, I went to all the trendiest places, just waiting for the audience to speak boldly of me.
To make sure the irony is
Perfect. I bought matching shoes, cufflinks, everything.
I even matched my silk socks to the color of my eyes and the accent on the tie!
I can\'t get my face straight!
But after every bar, club and
I was at a family party for hours and I had the same reaction
Everyone treated me like a lame man. o.
They look at me as if I shouldn\'t be there.
I thought they might be jealous at first, but then I understood --
They really thought I was dressed like that! Ha!
Can\'t these idiots make a simple joke?
It\'s like, \"Hel-
If you have to explain . . . . . . \"I was determined to stick to the mainstream and make this nonsense suit my signature look.
If I roll down below and go back to my drain pants and Chuck I will sell out. Nope.
If so, I will go further.
I perfected the look until it was as funny as possible.
No fee is waived
If I cut corners, I wouldn\'t be joking fair.
So I bought a leather Hermes attaché case and I filled it up-you guessed it—
Legal Briefing! And my watch? Lame-ass TAG Heuer.
The most expensive I can find
Fashionable avant-garde, or what?
But people still don\'t get it.
When they saw me on the show, no one crashed.
If so, they seem to have avoided me.
My current predecessor.
All my friends said I was selling a seat. WTF?
He works for a fucking graphic design company.
For God\'s sake, I\'m standing there in my damn suit.
It\'s not my fault if some asshole can\'t handle my next extreme and complete \"Fuck your mom --
I went further.
I moved out of Williamsburg\'s attic.
So 10 years ago)and put a down-
Payment for the Upper East Side co-op.
Black doorman in uniform or something. Hilarious!
Then, all of a sudden, I applied for a job at a hysterical corporate law firm called Gorman, Hensler and Stan,
This is the key.
I really got the job!
I think I should get the legal gag long enough to get my first paycheck and blow the cheese away --
Treat my unfulfilled check as an ironic trophy.
Well, I did . . . . . . But when people still don\'t accept the joke, more and more weeks have passed, and I\'m not fired, wages start to pile up, and I think, \"What the hell is it?
It\'s better to cash in the extra money.
\"Really, I have to pay for these expensive sarcastic shit.
But if no one else is fashionable enough to appreciate it all, what\'s the good of it all? On the 8:12 a. m.
The commuter train, everyone thought I was one of them.
The same is true of my secretary, assistant and every colleague in the law firm, and I am now a partner in the law firm.
I even married this ignorant girl from Connecticut.
Like shopping and everything
We have two sarcastic children.
I swear, they look like something from a creepy 1950 Dick and Jane reader --
I even have these funny silver.
Framed their pictures in my cheesy corner office.
But everyone lost humor except me.
At this point, I may be the most fashionable person on the planet, but no one understands. God!
Do you know how difficult it is to advance so far?
Some days it was enough for me to embrace consistency like other sheep.
Who am I kidding?
Living at the forefront of irony is in my blood, man!
I can\'t go straight if I try!